G Vegas Baby!

I’ve stumbled upon a conspiracy.  There is a dark underworld in Greenville that feeds upon the innocent(ish) and unsuspecting.  This operation dear readers is perpetuated by no other than East Carolina University itself (primarily the idiots in the registrar’s office). 

I’ll start from the top.  A few months ago all students received an email stating that the IRS requires us to update our social security number every semester.  Questionable at best, so I promptly deleted and ignored.  However, it was followed by email after email reminding/ hounding. (Another bad trait of the school’s which I will pontificate upon further at another time.)  Anyway there was supposed to be a hyperlink from my student login on the ECU website into which I could securely enter my SSN.  Except there was no such link.  I tried firefox, internet explorer, macbook, I pad, windows computer, all to no avail.  I finally broke down and called the registrar’s office and was informed that I obviously did something wrong and would have to bring my social security card, a picture ID, and a filled out tax form to main campus and present them for verification.  “Why would I need all of this when all I would have needed was to type in a number if the link had actually been there?” you ask… well dag if I know.
 
I was in a generous mood so I packed it all up and drove to campus during my thanksgiving break, paid to park in a visitor only lot, and presented all of the required documents.  Then two weeks later I receive an email stating that my ssn has yet to be updated and must be done before the end of the semester to avoid a fine.  Turns out I wasn’t the only one who had been given the runaround.  My friend Josh had also experienced a non-functioning link and been told he needed to appear in person on main campus.  Since Josh is an ECU grad I figured he’d know all the “safe” parking spots so I talked him into taking me up to campus with him for my return trip.  After circling campus we discovered that all of the visitor parking lots were subject to ticketing to anyone with a student parking pass, but there are no student parking lots within a 2 mile radius of the campus.  Josh decided our best bet was to park at McDonald’s and hoof it into campus.  Needless to say it took a little bit longer than my previous trip since we had a hike and double verification.  It took us almost half an hour to return to Josh’s car.  Or rather the spot where we had left it.


After some investigating we discovered that we’d been caught up in this evil little scheme between ECU, McDonalds, and non other than G-Vegas Towing.


Yes that is their real name and they are even sketchier than they sound.  We stood there and watched their efficiency.  These rascals could hook up a car and be gone in 4 minutes flat.  I have never ever experienced such efficiency from AAA when I was trying to assist them in moving one of my broken down hoopties.  They were so nice as to offer us a ride back to G-Vegas headquarters where we could pay our not inconsequential fine and retrieve his car.  However they would not let us ride in the same tow truck back (yes they had multiple rigs running this operation).  The one I got stuck in was an old broken down chevy.  It was so horrifically undersized for a tow truck that every time we approached a stop the car being towed would keep pushing the tow and we’d plow off to the side as the car behind swung about wildly.


Miraculously we survived to reach the impound lot, which happened to be behind the sketchiest of bail bonds offices.  However after getting out of the truck I realized the truck containing Josh, which had been right behind us, was nowhere to be seen.  Immediate panic ensued.  It turns out Josh’s driver had taken him to the bank to get cash and he showed up shortly, we paid up, and left without incidence.  Anyway now you know the conspiracy of Greenville.  The school ropes you in and G-vegas tows you out.