We have a lot of dreams and plans; at one point, getting into dental school was at the top of that list, and it's so awesome to have seen the last year and a half of that goal being realized! Now the dental school dream has shifted focus: obviously Stephen wants to do his best in preparing for his career as a Dentist, and we are also aiming to finish these four years debt-free. Another plan down the road is to own our own home, one whose walls do not touch another family's.
These goals are exciting and we enjoy talking about each of our own ideas relating to them. But there is another plan that's really more than just a daydream or even a goal. It's something we view more as a calling or mission--it's really important and requires a lot of responsibility and wise decisions, and the importance hinges on the fact that it's not really Stephen and I who are dependent on our success. This dream is starting a family! Cute little kids... although I'm not sure anyone can top the cuteness of our little niece Lydia!
A lot of our conversations about kids have been different from those of others our age. We have definitely talked about having our own biological kids, and that may be an opportunity for us in the future. For a long time, though, I have desired to adopt. Stephen graciously welcomed the idea of walking that path together when we were planning to get married, and he has been so supportive and encouraging of the idea that it has become not my goal, but ours.
I would imagine most couples try to think through the best timeline for having kids and what will best mesh with career and education goals. We have done the same and decided that somewhere along mid-dental school we would like to begin the adoption process. We wanted some time to get settled into such a big transition in our marriage before introducing another huge, likely stressful change.
Now that we're coming upon that mid-school stretch, we've wondered about when the best time would be to start the adoption process. Our goal of being debt-free coming out of school doesn't easily fit with our plan for me to stay home once we have kids, so we've been stuck in this limbo phase of really desiring to start a family versus being financially responsible and waiting for the "best time".
Recently, I began to realize how much I think about adoption and plan for how we could make things work. Rather than planning what the "best" scenario all around would be, the Lord pressed on my heart that there isn't going to be an easy time to adopt, or have kids of our own.
After reading this quote, I realized that we have been waiting for a someday that may never come. If we are feeling the conviction and call to adopt, we may as well take our "Yes" and actually move forward. I prayed about when to talk through this with Stephen and how the the two of us would decide together when we should take steps to make this desire a reality. We talked about it on a walk around the neighborhood one evening and agreed that we should start making some necessary decisions in order to move forward so that when the time comes for our child to become part of our family, we are in a position to make that happen without any scrambling or red tape issues.
I found a blog post by a great adoption advocate and adoptive father that expounds on the above quote and perfectly summarizes our feelings leading up to this decision. We hope that you'll read it for yourself to understand this burden on our hearts.
* * *
"Kids in crisis can't afford to wait until it's most convenient for you
to care for them. They don't have that luxury. They need you to stop
rationalizing what you know God is calling you to do - and just do
it. Your 'no' is a lot more difficult on them than your 'yes' will ever
be on you. Perhaps these kids need your family as much as your family
needs these kids."
* * *
* * *
If there is one thing we've learned in the past year, it's that the road probably isn't going to be easy. We aren't promised that it will be, but the most amazing thing we've witnessed is that when we step out on faith, God is there waiting to answer our prayers and provide. We believe that He is the one behind this decision and that He will take these desires and use them to mold us to become more like Christ, and to also impact a child who may not have much hope for the future right now.
This is a big decision for us, and we want our family and friends to be part of the process from the beginning. We would love to keep you updated as we move forward, and share resources we find as we prepare for this new journey. Above all, we need your encouragement, support, and prayers. This is the start of a lifelong journey that we can't take alone, and we are excited and so very thankful to have each of you by our sides, and as future grandparents, aunts, uncles, great-grandparents and friends to our kids.
Love,
~ Buzzy and Buckwheat (and Captain Flint, future big brother)
No comments:
Post a Comment