You wouldn't believe the discovery I made once I went back outside! There were these little creatures that looked like sticks but had weird heart-shaped heads that would turn and watch me! Their twiggy arms were bent in front of them, almost like they were praying that I would have mercy on their souls! But those rascals kept watching me. I got tired of it and finally pounced... I killed one and then the next day I killed another! And I didn't even feel bad about it. My mom wouldn't let me go back outside again for a while, and ANOTHER one of those stick things showed up! It watched me through the window for three days and I would try to jump and catch it but I wouldn't get through the window.
I kept promising the thing that when he least expected it I would show him that I am the Captain and this is my ship! Sure enough, after my dad and mom had been out of town, I knew they would let me play outside. They actually sent me out there with this delicious new fancy food that is soft and wet. I almost would imagine myself eating it in a fancy house out of a little crystal bowl after they tapped on it with a fork, but instead they put me out on the patio with it because they think it's stinky. Anyway, so I was distracted for a few minutes while I ate and that scalawag thought he had the best of me and that I wouldn't be able to catch him after my belly was full. Boy was he wrong! I jumped on him and the next thing I knew my mom was yelling at me and she pulled me back inside! But not before I broke his little twiggy neck and left him where I could watch him from inside the window.
That's like my fifth bug in two weeks! These big fat roaches kept coming in when it was rainy so I chased those all around too but they taste bad so I didn't eat them. Those cats that live outside can say what they want about how they catch birds and moles but I am truly a cat to be feared. Beware of the Captain!
Oh and I've got a pretty good poker face too.
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